Do you love your phone more than your partner?

Is your phone your constant companion? 

Bedrooms have traditionally been a place to sleep and engage in romance, however, the advent of digital technology has seemingly changed that, with nearly three quarters of surveyed Americans admitting they bring their phone to bed with them. That’s right! A staggering 77 percent of smartphone owners admit they would openly use their phones while in bed with someone else. ^[1]

It's no wonder that all that between-the-sheets screen time is affecting many people’s relationships. 

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through your phone right before bed or even worse, sleeping with your phone under your pillow? If so, you’re not alone. In the digital age, many of us have become accustomed to using technology as a crutch in our everyday lives. However, if you’re using your phone in bed, it could be harming your relationship. From decreased communication to decreased intimacy, your phone can cause a lot of negative effects in your relationship. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out, it’s important to understand the different ways your phone can be killing your relationship.

The negative impact of using phones in bed

It’s no secret that using phones in bed can have a negative impact on our sleep and relationships. It exposes us to bright screens which emit blue light that disrupts the production of melatonin and affects our ability to fall asleep. Moreover, it also creates distractions and can lead to overstimulation, making it harder to relax and wind down before bedtime. When a partner is using their phone in bed, it can also be disruptive to their partner's sleep and create feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction in the relationship. Therefore, it's important to establish phone-free bedtime routines to prioritize healthy sleep and strong relationships.

How does sleeping with your phone under your pillow affect communication in a relationship?

Using your phone in bed or sleeping with your phone under your pillow can also negatively impact communication in your relationship because it can  send a message that the phone is more important than your partner, and can lead to feelings of neglect and disconnection. Additionally, constantly checking your phone throughout the night or using it as an alarm can cause disruptions and increase stress levels, leading to a negative impact on the overall mood and communication in the relationship. By keeping the phone out of the bedroom and establishing a phone-free, offline bedtime routine, partners can prioritize their relationships and create a more peaceful and open environment for communication.

The consequences of not communicating with your partner

Not communicating with your partner, especially while using your phone at bedtime, instead of connecting with them, can lead to negative consequences in a relationship. The constant distraction and overstimulation from the phone can cause disruptions in sleep and increase stress levels, leading to a negative impact on overall mood and communication. This behavior sends the message that the phone is more important than your partner, causing feelings of neglect and disconnection. When individuals prioritize their phones, or other digital devices, over communication with their partner, misunderstandings, disagreements, and a breakdown of trust and emotional intimacy can occur, resulting in more and more decreased intimacy and physical affection. To maintain a strong and healthy relationship, it is crucial to establish a phone-free bedtime routine and prioritize open and honest communication with your partner.

How does scrolling through your phone before bed affect intimacy in a relationship?

Scrolling through your phone before bed and keeping it in the bedroom as an alarm clock can also greatly harm intimacy in a relationship. The constant stimulation and distractions from the phone make it difficult for individuals to relax and wind down before bed, leading to increased stress levels and a negative impact on overall mood, as well as well-being. Additionally, using the phone as an alarm clock and having it nearby during intimate and romantic moments can be distracting and lead to feelings of neglect and disconnection with your partner. The bright screens and blue light emitted from the phone can also disrupt the production of melatonin, affecting sleep quality and potentially lowering intimacy and physical affection. To preserve a strong and healthy relationship, it is vital to turn your bedroom into a phone-free sanctuary and focus on nurturing intimacy with your partner, rather than prioritizing the phone. ^[2]

What are the consequences of decreased intimacy in a relationship?

Decreased intimacy in a relationship can lead to several negative consequences. The first is that it can make it more difficult for you and your partner to feel close to one another. This can lead to more feelings of loneliness in your relationship and make it more difficult for you to feel satisfied in your relationship. If you and your partner are less intimate, it can also lead to feelings of resentment. This can make it more difficult for the two of you to resolve problems in your relationship, if they transpire, and can cause you to become less happy in the relationship.

What are the benefits of reducing phone usage in bed?

Reducing phone usage in bed can bring a wealth of benefits to a relationship. Improved communication, increased physical touch, better sleep quality, improved emotional intimacy, and decreased conflicts are just a few examples. When we prioritize quality time and conversation with our partner over phone usage, we can foster deeper connections and improve communication. Limiting phone usage in bed also increases opportunities for physical touch and intimacy, which can greatly improve the overall health of the relationship. By reducing exposure to blue light and limiting phone usage before bed, individuals can experience better sleep quality, improved mood, and reduced stress levels. Focusing on connecting emotionally with a partner instead of mindlessly scrolling on a smartphone can lead to increased emotional intimacy and a deeper connection. Additionally, limiting phone usage during bedtime and avoiding distractions can result in decreased conflicts and increased peace in the relationship. By reducing phone usage in bed and prioritizing relationships, individuals can experience a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship with stronger connections and improved well-being.

Bottom Line 

Removing your smartphone from the bedroom and replacing it with an alarm clock, like Mudita Bell or Mudita Harmony is one of the best decisions you can make for your relationship. By reducing phone usage in bed, you can improve communication and deepen connections with your partner, increase physical touch and intimacy, experience better sleep quality and reduced stress levels, foster increased emotional intimacy, and decrease conflicts. Using a traditional alarm clock instead of relying on your smartphone helps to limit distractions and ensures that you can focus on your relationship and creating meaningful moments with your partner. This simple change can have a profound impact on the health and happiness of your relationship, and it is well worth considering.

If you’d like to read more about topics connected to the subject of togetherness, human connection, and meaningful relationships, please check out some of our other articles:

• Is your SMARTPHONE sabotaging your relationship?

• Why Selfless Love Matters

• What's behind the loneliness epidemic & how can we fix it

To learn more about Mudita, take a look at our website and our other posts.